Honey-"Do" Lists

As most of us do, my husband and I both work full time. I work about an hour away from home (in traffic, up hill, through snow, and barefoot both ways) five days a week and do shoots on the weekend. By the time I get home I need to create something for my "part-time" photography job, edit or just relax. 

My husband works about 20 minutes away from home, but works 10 hour days four days a week. So typically Friday through Sunday he's off. 

I have a resonating guilt about leaving him a list of things to do around the house. Partially because I could conceivably do it once I get home from work, or we could both do everything on the weekends. The other part is because I feel guilty that he doesn't like his job; it's not what he went to school for and he is overworked.

I wrestle with my conscience on this constantly. I want to be a "good" wife by doing all the things that a 1950's housewife should do, but on the flip side, I'm TIRED, busy and stressed. 

To give you all the details about how our household currently operates: I handle ALL the bills, I take care of most of the day-to-day stuff, dust mopping, regular mopping, taking care of the dog and general organization. 

He handles all the laundry (he HATES the way I do the laundry), and is supposed to clean the bathroom -- but that doesn't always happen (unless I leave him the dreaded list!) so I do it more often than not. 

We jointly cook and do the dishes. But little things I didn't expect to crop up or bother me as much as they do, do. 

What bothers me most, and what I try to wrap my head around is his ability to ignore clutter.  He's a notorious clutterbug, and I like everything put away. He collects "things" (I say stuff, or another "s" word, but he gets annoyed) and has no place to put it. I have things, but more often than not I go through it and get rid of things I don't want/need or use. 

The things he collects are typically stacked next to the bed, on his dresser, in his closet or on a bookshelf in the living area. 

Because there is SO MUCH CLUTTER, I tend to go a long time refusing to clean it because it's HIS mess and he should be responsible for cleaning it and around it.  But then I get so frustrated and sick of looking at it I end up doing it. His reasoning for not doing anything with it is "it's ok if it looks like we live here." My issue with this is we like to have people over, but I hesitate because I like my house to look a certain way in order to accommodate people over.

So do I leave him a list, knowing it may or may not be ignored, or just throw all his "stuff" out and hope he doesn't notice. ... What would YOU do?